Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I got her a Nickelback box set.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
