My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
