apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
