real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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