if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
