don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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