my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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