so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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