none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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