By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
