omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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