I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I had to cum in my sink.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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