Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
