Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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