My nipple is on Facebook.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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