Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Who did Billy Mays play for?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
