party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
