i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Dear god my vagina.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
