I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Randomize
