dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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