It's Friday. Sex?
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i think i have two assholes
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
