I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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