He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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