U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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