Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Another day, another engagement, another cat
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
