I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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