Do you still have your period?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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