he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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