A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
