dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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