Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
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