Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
