one word: firstdatebathroomanal
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
