YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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