i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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