? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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