Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
