would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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