The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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