Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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