when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
They took my balls.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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