Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
