Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
