Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
