Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
