MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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