You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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