Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
