how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
