he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
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